Short Term Memory Loss – Spiritually, that is…

Beautiful small white snowdrops flowers. First springtime flowers blooming.

Today’s reading of the forgetful servant always makes me laugh – out of second-hand embarrassment.

The servant leaving his master, having just been released from a true debt roughs up another servant up even having them thrown in jail.

How could someone whose just been forgiven of a great debt, go out and demand a much smaller debt from someone else?

What? Did he completely forget the conversation he just had with the master and the mercy and forgiveness afforded him? Is he just mean or really that forgetful?

In my world, it is clearly forgetfulness. I am pretty good (usually) at forgiving others, BUT, I regularly forget – from one moment to the next – the mercy and love of my Master, God the Father. Just as we can forget that spring will ever come and bring flowers when we are in the midst of a miserably cold winter. When we are enduring struggles – spiritual, mental or physical – we can easily forget that God loves us and is taking care of us and our concerns.

It is stunning (almost shameful) how easily I can forget how much He loves me, along with His Son Jesus and the Holy Spirit. He really does. Not only does He love me enough to send His only Son (John 3:16) BUT He also loves me enough to give me…..

-a husband who is prayful and cute
-children who love God, each other and me
-a home
-great friends
-Easter is coming
-chocolate chip pumpkin muffins (being made later today)
-and on and on and on….

He has taken care of my family through illness and poverty. He has answered so many prayers directly and indirectly. He has to, because He is God and He cannot, cannot, cannot break His promises.

From 1 Cor. 2:9 it is written:

“What eye has not seen, and ear has not heard,
and what has not entered the human heart,
what God has prepared for those who love him,”

which is taken directly from Isaiah 64:4.

And I HAVE seen it, and heard it but still I forget.

In other words, God has proven Himself, time and again, as a good and loving God but I forget that regularly and worry, fuss and fret over so many things, too many situations that I can really do nothing about.

I don’t trust God enough to take care of everything. I give Him my struggles and worries and, within minutes, I take them all back – as if I am in charge. And, even worse, I often take out my stress, my worries on my husband and my kids. I rough them up with my attitude and worries.

If I were the servant in the story, I would be before my Master who just told me that He will not only forgive my debts, but he will take care of all of my problems, everything that is worrying me will be taken care of – in His time. My job? Let Him do it.

As I stand before Him, I am able to say “Yes! Great idea. You are in charge.”

Then, I walk away, leave His sight and before the door has a chance to hit me on the backside, I am worrying all over again, “But what about this child’s situation…”, “What about my health….”, “How will I do this….solve that….and on and on….whining and complaining, albeit silently, making my mood just awful.

I have, in that instant, become the forgetful servant.

My real job is not to worry but trust Him. My real job is to let Him know my concerns, then do what I can when I can. I don’t sit idly by, but be the mother He has given me the grace to be and let Him be the God He is.

To that end, I have begun a Trust List in my prayer journal. I have begun listing all those struggles I have where I really can’t do anything more than I am. I am leaving them with Him, and His Mother, Mary, Un-Tier of Knots and St. Joseph in his workshop. Together with God, my Father, they will take care of everything in God’s time.

My job is to remember and be grateful.

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